My problem with modern day feminism….

Unpopular topic incoming… so if you don’t like this sort of thing, well, there’s surely something else you could be reading. 😉

Mrs Banks

Credit: Walt Disney Studios

That brings me straight to one of my first dislikes of modern day feminism – they seem to hate being ladies. Now, I know this is a pretty broad brush, but read me out… The world needs feminism, yes. The women in this world who are treated like property, forced into slavey, can’t leave their homes without the presence of a man, who live in countries where they can be punished for being raped because this crime broke the sanctity of their arranged marriages, where reporting a rape requires the presence of 4 male witnesses, the countries where young girls are circumcised so that they can feel no sexual pleasure and won’t feel the need to cheat on the men they are sold to, and the women who are murdered to save their family’s “honour” if they should marry outside of their wishes… these women all need feminism. They need to be given strength and the power to defend themselves and their rights need to be fought for.

However, the privileged western woman, who has her own house, her own car, a career, can choose whom she dates (if she dates), whom she marries (if she marries), how many children she wants (if any), what she wants to wear (or not to wear) and is generally in complete and utter control of her life – newsflash: Feminism has already happened. You have the power to control your own life. I have the power to control my own life… WE ARE FREE. Please stop whining over kitchen jokes and animated boobs in video games! *sigh*

Here are some thoughts on the matter, that I can’t help but agree with, by the amazing miss Emma Watson.

Regrettably, there are women out there, who feel the need to belittle and antagonize everything and everyone who don’t basically portray woman as all mighty, independent, strong and unattached amazons (properly dressed amazons that is) and I have to say I am sick of it.

Let me break it down for you: 

nina williams

Credit: Tekken Series, Nina Wiliams

Video Games – there is nothing wrong with Damsel in distress stories, they have been a part of our culture for eons; also there is nothing wrong with fantasy sexuality or fantasy characters in unrealistic armour…. some of the games might be a tad tasteless, (GTA for example is a title I will never understand the appeal for), but I am a woman and I am a gamer and I have felt more objectified by feminists trying to tell me what I should and shouldn’t be disgusted by and that in their opinion I support “victim blaming” and “rape culture” of the gaming industry by letting Mario save Princess Peach…. more so than I have ever felt by any video game and its scantily clad lady warriors.

lara old and new

Credit: Tomb Raider Series – Lara Croft Old and New


If you would like more games with female (or gender neutral) protagonists, support the artists who make those great games or straight up make one yourself. Don’t judge others for what they enjoy just because it’s not in your taste. As long as no real people are being hurt, and the people who consume this media still treat the real people (male and female) in their lives with respect, dignity and fairness, then just back off. Right away off.

Movies – The Becdtel test. Please, take it and go. Bury it in a box so I mustn’t ever hear about it ever again. Basically all of my favourite movies fail this “lady friendliness” test, not because they’re misogynistic drivel as so many claim, but simply because their stories don’t fit this little mould. (Read more about this test here.)

bechtel test


Lord of the Rings, (All?) Marvel Movies, Avatar, Titanic  – most of them are either fantasy based and written by men, so with mainly male casts, or are period pieces where it simply was rare for women to be without the involvement of men. They are not anti woman. They are not oppressive. They are merely not strictly about just women. That’s not a crime or a wrongdoing!

If you don’t like it – don’t play it, don’t watch it, don’t read it, don’t listen to it and leave everyone else who does alone already! OK? OK…

Barbie – Oh gods… I will keep this one short and simple; on March 9th 1959, back before western women had the power to control their own lives, Ruth Handler launched her Barbie doll. A fashion doll, proportioned slightly differently so that the scaled down fashions would look appealing to the eye, and who would go on to become the first girls toy in western history to have traditionally male “careers“. Barbie was not only a waitress, stewardess, ballerina and veterinarian, she was also a Business Executive, a Pilot, a Director and a Surgeon. (Although we should also consider how hurtful it is to belittle people who choose these careers, these are all very important jobs that need doing and just because they are traditionally female don’t make them any less important!) She’s had “careers” in Education, the Arts, Medicine, the Military, Politics, Public Service, Science and Engineering (she was an astronaut as early as 1965), Transportation, Business and several miscellaneous jobs as well. She has bee a diverse and fun role model and yes she comes, often, accessorized in Pink.

This is not a weakness. This is not a superficial, fat shaming, objectifying toy. It’s an inspiration for young girls to learn early on that they can be anything they want to be, and yes, they don’t have to sacrifice being feminine or girly or pink or sparkly to do it, if that’s what they want in life.

Lastly – Being Girly and growing into a Lady – oh boy… this one will probably need a whole blog post of its own – actually – yeah, I shall give this one it’s own future blog post. But suffice it to say, that I get very upset when someone tells me that being into pink, sparky things, wearing make up and a set of killer heels makes me weak. I have one thing to say to people who tell me that I am causing a negative gender stereotype by buying my goddaughter a Disney Princess toy instead of a tool set, and that I am harming women everywhere by saying things such as “that wasn’t very lady like”…. I have one thing to say and trust me, it isn’t very lady like at all…. FUCK OFF.


Well, I feel like that last one will most certainly need further explaining…  but I’ll get to that another time, ok?

Until then, just try to be mindful of what really is and isn’t causing harm, because trust me, boys and men ogling over digital boobies, Mario saving Peach for the millionth time, there not being any action clad lady hobbits and Barbie having a small waist and a sparkly briefcase, are not the culprits.

Thanks for reading.

Take care. xoxo


2 thoughts on “My problem with modern day feminism….

  1. Katrin says:

    I just have to say, that I can not agree with you on this… That you cannot see the discrimination on first sight does not mean that there is no. How come, for example, that women earn 30% less on the same job? (at least in my country) or that there are almost no women in higher positions? I know- we all heard that arguments a lot. But it is still the sad truth.
    We have come a long way. And I am freaking thankful for that. But we have not reached gender equality (for all genders on specific topics) and I am still freaking thankful that there are people out there who are fighting for my rights.
    And to that pink- glittery topic… A grown woman has a choice… But those things are mostly made for young girls. And they get a message. Did you know, that kinder surprise eggs are divided between girls and boys now? Because the girl of course wants that princess. And have you ever seen the girl magazine “Topmodel”? I don’t even have words for that. It is huge. And all about looks, outfits and make up. For 5-10 year old girls? Should they really care about make up and only eating salad for lunch because it is so healthy? (yes that is written in there, and it was the only meal mentioned for one day…)
    I think those things have bigger effects than we want to admit. But parents usually don’t think about it. Because it is cute and pink, how could it possibly harm anyone? But those things are creating an image. And I personally don’t like that image.
    That doesn’t mean all girly glittery pink things are evil. But some of them are really scary to me. And again – I am freaking thankful that there are people who point those things out. That maybe not popular in our generation, because it has an image- birkenstock, Alice schwarzer, verbitterte Mannsweiber- but I would not want to live in a world without those people.

    All my love for you and a wonderful day for you :*

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Katrin,

      Thank you very much for taking the time to read my blog and leave a comment, especially one that was positive in tone, even though we may disagree on the topic.

      Quite frankly, I have to admit that I do not see the discrimination that you see, because it simply isn’t there. The problems you are quoting, are myths that have been disproven. Think about it this way, (for example) if women were really getting paid 30% less than men for the same jobs, then no company would ever hire men, because it would be better business to hire “cheaper” women. But they don’t, because this simply isn’t true. It is unconstitutional and illegal to discriminate by gender in any field. Period.

      The apparent wage gab, does not account for varying professions, degrees, hours worked maternity leave and general choices options people make and I sincerely believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with more women choosing jobs as nurses, psychiatrist and early childhood educators rather than say computer engineers or Bank CEO’s, because unlike some people out there I have no problem admitting that men and women are fundamentally different in certain ways, and there is nothing wrong with that.

      I find the disdain people have for us letting little girls be girly and pink and little boys be superheroes very upsetting, because that is just as limiting as disallowing little girls to play football and little boys to be ballerinas. IF a child wishes to enjoy these things, then let them. It’s not harmful or misleading or damaging and I am tired of having to explain to children that it’s okay to like what like they like, whether social standards consider their preferences gender synchronous or not.

      Thank you again for sharing your comment, and I wish you a wonderful weekend.


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