You know the situation, if you haven’t been in it yourself, you might have witnessed it, either in real life or on TV… a young person is in the throws of telling their colleague/acquaintance about their plans for the weekend involving their spouse and all of a sudden there is this outraged request for clarification: “You’re married?”
I hate it when that happens; since I am never really sure what they are implying. Am I not attractive enough in your eyes for anyone to want me? Do I appear too incompetent to sign the contract? Or were you maybe eyeing me up as a potential mate yourself and are now displeased?
Common sense and past experiences dictate that this baffled question will immediately followed by some line that runs along the line of “Aren’t you a little young to be married?”
To which I usually eloquently reply: No.
Legally speaking, most western countries allow marriage at the age of 18 (we are still working on legalizing this magical affair for all people, but we’re getting there)… If you’re over the age of 18 (in most countries) you are old enough to: drive a car, buy and drink hard liquor, have a job/be responsible for your own taxes and in some (insane) places even to buy a weapon of some sort. And guess what? You’re also old enough to marry… so no, I am not too young but you can check my ID if it pleases you.
Do you think it stops there? You did? Oh you’re cute… no no, this is then followed with an indignant string of interrogations about whether my feelings are true, and how do I know I love him and how can I be sure I did the right thing at such a young age. Let’s put this to bed once and for all, shall we?
First of all, there is no “ideal” age for marriage. Some marriages begin at 18 and last to 22, others at 18 and last to 80. Some marriages begin at 35 and only last to 40, some at 35 and go on to 90… There is no ideal age. Next!
How do I know I am ready? How did you know you were ready??
We are happy. We cook together and for one another, we share the adult responsibilities so that we can enjoy being dorky childish goofballs together, quicker. We watch movies together (even the ones we don’t really like, but we know it will make the other happy). I know what soup he needs when he’s sick. He knows what comfort food to make me when I’ve had a shitty day… he anthropomorphizes my cuddly animals and gives them personalities which is very handy if we have one of our very rare arguments… who can say no to Maple bear?
He makes me laugh every day. Makes me feel loved and appreciated. He sends me emails at work, just to check in and see how I am doing, and he has dinner ready for me if he gets home before I do. We go on adventures together. We’ve been backpacking, and family visiting and staying in luxury castles … together we have been to: Jasper, Vancouver, London, several towns in Germany, Rome, Salzburg, Dublin, Lough Eske Castle, the Causeway Coastal Route and Switzerland. We are now planning our trips to Edinburgh, the west coast of Ireland and France.
He always has my back and I always have his. We poke fun at each other as only best friends can , play video games together, as well as backgammon, chess and pool… we go for walks and bike rides and we just laze on the sofa in each others company.
I love how he warms me up before we go to sleep (I get awfully cold) and watching him in the last moments of his dreams in the morning, just before we get up. I always wake up to kisses.
Even the mundane things have become special since we’ve been married… I need to clean the kitchen anyway, but now I know that he’ll love seeing the kitchen all sparkly (so that he can mess it up again while cooking dinner) and that makes me smile. He does so much for me all the time and we take great care of each other.
So no, I don’t think that I am too young to be married at all. I think I am incredibly lucky to have found my partner, the one that makes me laugh and smile, and feel loved and protected, this early in life… so that (hopefully) we get to enjoy each others company for decades to come.
And if that still isn’t good enough for you… well… you know that little expression that starts with “fu” and ends in “off”? 😉
Thanks so much for reading and take care. xoxox